“The only constant in life is change.”

Heraclitus

When you think about life, we are constantly changing.  This includes our career paths.  Many people believe that once you find your “perfect” career, you are set for life.  That only sets up an unrealistic expectation that leads people to feel frustrated that they have not found “it” and to ignore the marvelous process of growth and change.

I have been thinking about the phenomenon of change a lot lately in my work with young professional musicians.  These talented young people have a calling to create music and some of them have had a vision of what that vision looks like:  playing in a orchestra, creating their own small ensemble and touring and performing with close friends, enjoying the freelance life-style and playing with a variety of orchestras and groups.

So what can you do if you find yourself in this situation where your dream of old no longer matches up with who and where you are now? 

The first thing to know t when your goals have changed is that you are in a phase of the cycle of transition.  There are four parts of this cycle:

  1. "I'm done."
  2. "I'm reflecting."
  3. "I'm exploring."
  4. "I'm there."

Let's take a look at how this plays out when your dream comes to an end.


1. “I’m done.”

First, have the courage to admit that the dream no longer works.  This is easier said than done.  You may have applied to graduate school to work with a particular teacher who is supporting that goal. Or you may have embarked on that career path and made commitments and are able to support yourself in a sustainable, if not comfortable life style. Having a vision is like a magnet that pulls you towards your long-term goals and inspires you to work hard and to whatever it takes to make that dream a reality.  And when the vision is gone, you feel lost, without direction.

So admitting that you no longer buy into your vision takes enormous courage.  Give yourself a lot of credit for having the guts to admit this.  That courage can fuel you through your exploration process

Then, take some time to acknowledge the emotions that are coming up.  No doubt, you are feeling scared.  You wonder what you will do instead.  You worry that you will not find the right thing.  You may be angry at the people who reinforced your vision. You may turn that anger onto yourself and blame yourself for not being smarter about your career choices.  You may start to feel depressed and hopeless.

All of this is normal.  The best thing to do in this phase is to acknowledge those feelings.  Journaling is very helpful.  So is talking to others about what you are going through.  And so is knowing that you are going through a process of change.


2. “I’m reflecting.”

The next step involves reflecting on who you are, what you really want, what is important to you, what you love doing and what you are good at.  Career development and personal development are closely related.  The more your career aligns with who you are—your values, your strengths and your passions—the more fulfilled you will be.  So spend some time on this phase.  Yes, you will still feel some of that fear and perhaps the anger but you will also start to feel better because you are doing something positive and building.

And here is one thing that I strongly counsel against when you are in the first two phases: do not make a plan.  As tempting as it is to have the anchor of a plan, you are not ready.  Chances are that you will only land up doing something that does not work for you.  Give yourself the time.  It will pay off in the long run.

3. "I’m exploring."

At some point, things will become clearer and you will begin to zero in on a few options that seem appealing.  You can start by building your network of people with whom you feel a connection and can share information and resources.  You you can reach out to others for informational interviews.  You can do research on career options. You can test out one of your options by volunteering or taking a class or reading up on a particular area. Once you are clearer on the areas that you like, you can start interviewing for jobs.   This phase carries with it a lot of excitement because you are narrowing the possibilities and are remaining open to what works for you.


4.  "I’m there!"

And then you pick one area and do it.  You are there! When you hit on the career path that lines up with who you are and what you love, it’s exciting.  You may want this phase to last forever.  The challenge in this phase is to manage your expectations.  Nothing is perfect and nothing is forever.  There may be things that do not work for you in this new career.  See what you can do to change them.   Pay attention to how you feel at work.  At some point, if it is not working for you, have the courage to recognize that and say “I’m done.” And then the cycle begins again.

This time, you will be prepared and know how to manage it.

 

© Astrid Baumgardner 2011