In my work as a career coach for young professional musicians, I often come across people who are thrown by having too many choices.  These are the passionate folks who want to try everything and find themselves confused and exhausted by having too much on their plates! That passion is a wonderful thing and it is  an essential element in creating career success but a haphazard approach can be exhausting and time consuming.

If you find yourself saying yes to a lot of opportunities because you do not want to miss out on “all that cool stuff” or because you are afraid of making the “wrong” choice, chances are that you do not know what direction to take.  [You may also have trouble saying no for fear of disappointing others.  If that’s your situation, it’s time to learn how to set boundaries so that you can start saying no to them and yes to yourself!]

Here are a few thoughts on how to focus your direction and begin to make choices that feel right for you.

In a recent post, I wrote on how life is a series of transitions and that it is important to recognize what phase of the cycle you are in.  The cycles can be summarized as follows:

“I’m done.”

You no longer want to pursue a career, a relationship or an activity either because you realize it does not work or because someone has pulled the rug out from under you  (ie, your job ends or your significant other calls it quits).


“I’m reflecting.”
You spend some time figuring out who you are in order to make choices that match up with the best of you. 


“I’m exploring.”
Having spent some time reflecting, you come up options to test out.


“I’m there.”
Eureka!  You have chosen a direction and you do it—until it no longer works and you are back to "I'm done."

The inability to choose a direction for fear of making the “wrong” choice often stems from not knowing what you are really about. The more you know what makes you tick-what you stand for, what you are good at and what you love—the easier it will be to make choices that align with your core.  This is at the heart of the reflection phase:  taking some time to explore yourself so that you can have a better idea of what direction to go in.  The people who are eager to try everything out have not spent a lot of time figuring out what would work best for them.  When I have my students or clients spend some time reflecting on themselves, all kinds of light bulbs go off.

Let’s start with values.  If security shows up as one of your top values, this typically translates into wanting a steady pay check or the security in knowing that work will come in, along with the money to support you.  The freelance lifestyle is probably not for you and the sooner you recognize this, the easier it will be to say no to all those quirky, fascinating little gigs that do not pay much, if anything at all.  On the other hand, you may decide to accept these opportunities if they are likely to expose you to people who could hire you for a more permanent position (e.g., at a non-profit, at a school or at another kind of organization).

How about strengths?  Suppose you have strong communication skills and enjoy interacting with people? This suggests a role in teaching, speaking to audiences, even fundraising or working in an organization.  If leadership is one of your top strengths, you probably like to be in charge so start an ensemble or look for positions where you can run an organization.

What about passions? What areas of music do you particularly love? Maybe it is performing with a close group of friends.  Or teaching children or other audience members who have not been exposed to music.  Perhaps you have a cause that you are passionate about.  Whatever it is, know that passion because it is an important part of the mix in deciding on your direction.

Now comes the interesting part.  Combine your values + your strengths + your passions.  Each person is going to have a different take and that’s where you get to use your creativity in coming up with your options. One way to combine these elements is to do a life purpose statement where you discover what constitutes a meaningful life for you and how you can use your strengths to make that happen.  Another exercise is to go through the process of creating a brand statement, which also taps into the best of yourself and how you can communicate your essence to the target audience that you most resonate with.  Both of these exercises can help you to zero in on options that you might want to explore.

The great thing about doing this work is that once you come up with your options, you can have the satisfaction of knowing that they come from your core and can lead you in an authentic, fulfiling direction.  And once you have zeroed in on a few areas that you are excited about testing out, that’s when you are ready to explore.

One last thing.  For those of you who are afraid of making the “wrong” choice, think again.  If you choose to explore something and it does not work out, that is an experience.  It can tell you a lot about what works and what does not.  If it does not work, extract the lessons and move on.  Stay tuned for more!

© Astrid Baumgardner 2011