Emotional Intelligence for Today’s Leaders Part II: Self-Management

Once you have developed better self-awareness, there is a second skill in developing personal competence:  self-management.

Self-management is the ability to express the appropriate emotions at the appropriate time. Self-management is about slowing yourself down so that you can check any inappropriate behaviors and formulate the most appropriate response to the challenging situation.

Self-management strategies fall into two categories: actions to take in the moment so that you do not act on your emotions inappropriately and long-term actions that help you to improve your response to emotionally charged situations.

Let’s continue with our example of the email from a collaborator with whom you have been working closely. This individual makes a lot of demands about how a performance is supposed to run and her latest email lays out yet another requirement just when you thought that everything had been agreed upon.

If your first thought in receiving this email is to send back a nasty email or pick up the phone to yell at your collaborator, here are some alternatives that can help to slow you down and manage your emotions more effectively.

Emotional Intelligence for Today’s Leaders Part I: Self-Awareness

Lately, there has been a lot of press about the importance of emotional intelligence for successful entrepreneurs and leaders.

So what is emotional intelligence and why should leaders cultivate this skill?  

Emotional Intelligence (know as “EQ”, as opposed to “IQ”) is the ability to recognize and control your emotions and then pick up on the emotions of those with whom you are interacting in order to influence and work effectively with them. It’s the ability to express the appropriate emotions at the appropriate time.

This psychological model was introduced in 1990 by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer and popularized by science writer Daniel Goleman in his groundbreaking work, Emotional Intelligence (1995).  Emotional Intelligence has been called ” a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea” (Harvard Business Review) since it is strongly correlated with success.

Having high EQ is the way to get buy-in from the people with whom you are dealing and get them to listen, be engaged and inspired to follow your lead. Research has shown that having high EQ is a better indicator of success than having a high IQ.  That is why it is such an important leadership skill  The great thing about EQ is that it is a skill set that you can develop to make you a more effective leader. Let’s take a closer look.

EQ involves four underlying sets of skills, two having to do with your own emotions and two having to do with the emotions of those around you:

Conflict Management Styles: The Start of Effective Conflict Management

Conflict is part of life. Conflict is any situation in which people have incompatible interests, goals, principles or feelings and experience.  In other words, conflict means that two people experience discomforting differences.

Despite our best efforts, we find ourselves in disagreements with other people in all aspects of our lives:  at work, in our relationships, in our volunteer activities.  How we respond to provocation can determine if conflict moves in a beneficial or a harmful direction.  The good news is that we can learn skills, strategies and processes to manage conflict.

Managing Career Transitions: How to Make the Most of Your Career Cycle

 

“The only constant is change.” –Heraclitus

When you think about life, we are constantly changing. This includes our career paths. Many people believe that once you find your “perfect” career, you are set for life. That only sets up an unrealistic expectation that leads people to feel frustrated that they have not found “it” and to ignore the marvelous process of growth and change.

Cultivating the Positive Mindset: Using Your Best-Self Flow Affirmation

We all have a “best or Flow self”.  That is the side of us that comes alive when we are in the Flow, doing what we do best, feeling confident and joyful and successful.  You can discover what your best Flow self is by following this simple process.

The great thing about this Flow Affirmation is that is draws on actual experience.  Having the affirmation is the reminder of who you are at your best.  This affirmation can be a powerful way for you to make choices to live that best, Flow self.  And by doing so, you are incorporating Flow into your life and cultivating a more positive, success-oriented mindset!

What are some ways to do this?

Take Charge: Creating a Mindset of Positivity

Taking charge is a mindset of positivity.  It means that you believe in yourself and your vision and you are committed to taking the steps that will make your vision a reality.

This is leadership in its purest sense.  Leadership is essentially the ability to inspire yourself and others to create success.  And entrepreneurship takes the concept of leadership a step further by instilling the notion of taking charge and being the driver who makes things happen. 

How do you develop the positive attitude that enables you to take charge?

It starts with embracing the concept of Flow.

Take Charge: Creating a Mindset of Positivity

Taking charge is a mindset of positivity.  It means that you believe in yourself and your vision and you are committed to taking the steps that will make your vision a reality. This is leadership in its purest sense.  Leadership is essentially the ability to inspire yourself and others to create success.  And entrepreneurship takes the concept of leadership a …

Power Up Your Communication: How to Leverage the 4 Communication Styles

Think about the last time you were at a party and had the opportunity to observe a lot of people in action:

  • Who dominated the conversation and put a premium on being right and convincing others to go along with his solutions?
  • How about the serious person who rather cautiously talked in precise detail?
  • And how about the person who was bursting with enthusiasm and could not wait to tell you her great idea?
  • Who walked into the room and began by introducing herself to others, spending time with each person to establish a connection?

These are examples of 4 different communication styles:

  • Driver:  the person who takes charge and wants solutions;
  • Analytical: the person who values accuracy and details;
  • Expressive: the idea person; and
  • Amiable: the person who prioritizes relationships.

Personal Board of Directors

What is a personal board of directors?

A personal board of directors is comprised of the people in your life who support your vision and to whom you turn when you want honest and trustworthy advice and/or when you are looking for help in figuring out solutions to your challenges. 

Know Your Values: The Key to Great Decisions and Positive Motivation

I am a big believer in the importance of knowing your values and aligning your life in order to honor those values. 

What are values?  Quite simply, the principles by which you live your life: authenticity, courage, fun, relationships, personal growth, service or spirituality.   Each person has a unique set of these principles that define you and tell you what is truly important to you. In effect, values are the essence of who you really are: i.e., the core to your authenticity.